Surprising tasks I’ve done as a doula

I don’t think anyone I know understands what I do for my job.

My children think I’m playing with giggling babies all day.

My sister thinks I’m delivering babies with midwives.

My parents think I cuddle babies for a living.

My husband thinks I spend much of time meeting “clients” and networking with other birthworkers in coffee shops (he’s probably right!)

My friends probably know best, as they all longingly say “oh I wished I’d had you by my side in those early days”

Whilst some of my job is meeting for coffees, cuddling and playing with giggling babies, I wouldn’t say it’s the majority. I care for mums, not babies, but if that’s what mum needs me to do on that day, I’m there for it.

My doula focus is on providing practical help, company and emotional support. Support can look very different for many people.

-Meal Prep

-Laundry folding

-Upsizing baby’s clothes

-Listening

-Feeding support

-Playing with toddlers

-Collecting prescriptions or groceries

I have also stepped up in other ways. Here are a few of the more unusual things I’ve done to help the families I have worked with.

Hedge Trimming: One pregnant mummy I worked for couldn’t get past the hedge in their front garden to get to her car, so I trimmed it back and swept up.

Flat Pack Assembly: Whether it was never finding the time or not within her capacity, I helped another family assemble two cots for their twins.

Furniture rearrangement: When a mummy tells me something is annoying her, I get those sleeves rolled up. Last March one mum told me it was annoying her that the furniture hadn’t been put back in to its usual position after Christmas.

De-ice the car: A cold and frosty morning early last year, I was staying home with the baby whilst mama did the nursery drop off. Whilst she was negotiating with her toddler to get dressed and eat her breakfast I suggested I went out and cleared the ice from the car. Whilst there I found the heated seat button to make it nice and toasty for mummy to get in to. Speaking of cars, I’ve also topped up windscreen washer fluid for someone.

Wallpaper Repair: Another mum said “one day I’ll get around to sticking that peeling bit of wallpaper back”. Thirty seconds later she could tick it off her to-do list.

Hoovering the car: A packet of raisins might keep kids busy in the back of the car but sometimes the regret creeps in when you find there’s more snacks in the backseat than the cupboards at home! Once family I was with had offered to pick up a friend later that day and said she felt embarrassed to let anyone in the vehicle, so I gave the car a quick hoover.

Charity Shop run: I love a good decluttering session but find the pile of stuff to go lingers for a good month or two until it gets out of the door. I know how good it feels to get that job fully complete so I love being able to make others feel that satisfaction.

Vinted parcels posting: Anyone on maternity leave these days seems to have started a Vinted side hustle to pay for the mat leave coffee shop trips. If there’s a parcel in the hallway packaged up and ready to go, I’ll often suggest pinging me the QR code and offer to drop it off on my way home.

Spider catcher and Cat Shoo-er: From intruder cats from the neighbourhood to bathroom spiders, postpartum days are not the time for added fear and distress. I’ve calmly removed these from the house. And stay out!

Accident clear up: One significantly less calm moment was when the family cat had delivered a headless mouse in the kitchen, both mummy and I were squealing together, in that situation she handed over the baby and I distracted the toddler whilst she dealt with Mickey herself. Speaking of accidents, I support a lot of second time mums with age gaps of newborn and potty training toddlers! If mum is feeding or soothing baby and someone doesn’t make it to the toilet, I’ve helped by getting them get cleared up.

Driving home for Christmas: Post C-Section, I drove one mummy to her parent’s house for Christmas, helping load up the car and arrive safely to celebrate the festive season surrounded by love and support!

I’m always surprised when someone questions me with “wow, you do all that?” yet nobody is saying to a mother of a newborn “wow, you do all of that?”.

I get a kick out of being helpful, and if it’s something I would do at home for my family, I’ll happily do it for yours. It’s always worth asking.