Before you plan your birth
Can you think of a time when you’ve had to make a difficult decision? Did you avoid it? How did it work out?
Did someone else’s guidance leave you feeling disappointed?
The systems around us love compliance, it’s so much easier when everyone just does as their told. However what if those instructions aren’t in our best interest?
Becoming a parent brings profound responsibility. Your child’s safety, wellbeing and upbringing rest in your hands. It requires commitment, sacrifice and a willingness to guide them thoughtfully rather than placing responsibility elsewhere. It’s natural to want to avoid difficult choices and look to others to decide for you - whether that’s a doctor, a teacher or a partner - but parenthood asks you to step into those decisions with intention.
How you experience the birth of your baby can have a lasting impact on both you and your child.
What does it feel like to be told, “Your baby is measuring big, so we suggest an induction”? Or to spend days on the postnatal ward, longing to go home, feeling that everything is fine, only to be told, “We wouldn’t recommend self-discharge”?
In those moments, it’s important to ask:
how do I feel about this now? how will i feel about it in the future?
what do my gut instincts tell me?
what are the benefits/risks/alternatives?
what happens if i do nothing/wait?
whose interests are being prioritised?
who am I worried about disappointing? why?
what compromises am I willing to make?
As your postnatal doula, my role is not to tell you how to care for your child. You are the expert on your body and your baby and you will have to live with the result of your choices. I am here to support you in making the choices that feel right for you, suggesting sources of information and creating space around you so you can consider your options. During pregnancy and beyond, you have the opportunity to educate yourself, explore your options, and make considered decisions that align with your values and your family’s needs.
Seek knowledge, weigh the information available to you, and make informed choices with care. Being a mummy is a heavy responsibility and one worth taking seriously in pregnancy.
Outsourcing your decision-making when it comes to your birth is a recipe for birth trauma. Women report feel lost, out of control, unheard and ignored when decisions are being made that they aren’t a part of. I’m there to remind you and the people whose job it is to serve and care for you that this is YOUR moment and your choice.
Birth does just mark the end of pregnancy, it’s the beginning of your child’s life. Your baby deserves a strong, confident and powerful parent who will advocate for them, reassure them, nurture and encourage.
Are you ready?
Get educated
Books: Rachel Reed, Sara Wickham,
Podcasts: Birth Untethered, Midwives Cauldron, East Surrey Bump to Birth
Antenatal Education: Birth-ed Method, The Lemon Tree
Hypnobirthing: KG Hypnobirthing
Find your community: Facebook Groups, Happy Parents Happy Baby, NCT, Coffees at Florries
View real births: Badass Mother Birther,
Prepare your body: create space and release tension
Prepare your mind; address fear, question what you know.
Select your birth team: home, hospital, doula, midwife, partner
Once you’ve got this information straight you can start planning your birth. Enjoy!
